“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.” ~Søren Kierkegaard I didn’t lose her all at once. I lost myself first—slowly, quietly, in the way that only happens when someone you trust makes you doubt everything you think and feel. She was magnetic when I met her. Warm, intense, the kind of person who made…
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway My grandmother had just died. My sister and I had come from the room where her body still lay, and we were standing in the elevator in silence when the doors slid closed. My sister looked at me and said, “Now you’re the last…
“Ultra-independence is a coping mechanism we develop when we’ve learned it’s not safe to trust love or when we are terrified to lose ourselves in another. We aren’t meant to go it alone. We are wounded in relationship and we heal in relationship.” ~Rising Woman Do you feel like you have to do everything on your own? Is it…
“Surrender is not about giving up. It is about letting go of the illusion of control.” ~Judith Orloff Watching my mother lose her memory while I was losing mine felt like a cruel preview of my future—until I learned that stress, not genetics, was writing my story. It was 3:47 a.m.—again. I’d been awake since 2:13, and before that…
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown I used to call myself a “beetroot.” It was a label of defectiveness that my inner critic screamed at me every time I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. For years, I lived with erythrophobia,…
“The greatest gift you can give your children is your own healing.” ~Dr. Shefali Tsabary Am I doing too much or not enough? Am I screwing my child up? Am I being too hard on my child? Am I being too soft? Am I spending enough time with my child? Do I help too much? Should I help more? Is…
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss people.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt I stopped gossiping when life humbled me. I didn’t realize at the time, but what I thought was just innocent girl talk with my friends was really a way to escape my own shame and insecurity. I had this quiet, ongoing sense that I wasn’t measuring up personally or…
“We don’t build trust by offering help. We build trust by asking for it.” ~Simon Sinek I have always been the strong sister, partner, and friend. I didn’t make a conscious decision one day to be the strong one and stuck to it. It became who it was from a very young age, being the firstborn daughter. I was…
“Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen.” ~Shakti Gawain As a child, I was never taught to regulate my emotions. I learned instead to override them—pushing through stress, swallowing tears, and even hiding a cast at dinner, afraid that showing what had happened to me would create anger instead of care. By…
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” ~Soren Kierkegaard Let’s be clear: This isn’t an article about positive thinking. This isn’t an article about how silver linings make everything okay. This isn’t an article about how your perspective on anxiety is all wrong. The kids call those things “toxic positivity.” No toxic positivity here. This is an article about my lifelong relationship…
