“Sometimes we fall for the same mistakes because we haven’t learned to love ourselves fully.” ~Unknown As long as I can remember, my relationships followed the same script. At first, there was charm. Attention. Sweetness. Intensity. That intoxicating feeling of being seen and chosen, sometimes for the very first time. Then, slowly, the cracks appeared. It started small. A…
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~Carl Jung I was sitting in my therapist’s office when she asked me a question that made me freeze. “Tell me about the last time something good happened in your life.” I opened my mouth to answer, then stopped. My mind went…
“An empath is a person highly attuned to the feelings and emotions of those around them. Empaths feel what another person is feeling at a deep emotional level.” ~Leah Campbell When I learned the word “empath” about ten years ago, it felt like the most amazing relief. I thought to myself, yes, that’s me! Finally, an explanation as to…
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.” ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross My friend Diana’s WhatsApp profile picture is of herself hugging her dog, Zibby. Every time her name comes up on my phone, there they are. The two of them in a…
“Emotional abuse is any pattern of behavior that undermines a person’s sense of self-worth and reality.” ~Beverly Engel At first, the changes were small. I stopped wearing that outfit everyone liked because they said it didn’t look good on me. I let certain friendships fade because it made him uncomfortable. I laughed less at things he didn’t find funny….
“One of the hardest things I’ve had to understand is that closure comes from within. Especially difficult if you’ve been betrayed by someone you love because you feel like you gotta let them know the pain they caused, but the peace you seek can only be given to you by you.” ~Bruna Nessif A photo of my father handing…
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela First, I slept in a snow shelter at -20°C. Second, I stood alone on a stage in Montreal and tried to make strangers laugh. Third, I stuck out my thumb on the side of a highway with nothing but a backpack and hoped that a…
“Sometimes walking away is the only way to stop walking away from yourself.” ~Unknown I was between sessions. My TV was on in the background—something I’d half-started watching called The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on Hulu—as I walked into the kitchen to make myself some lunch. It’s about a group of Mormon wives who became TikTok famous and…
“Knowledge is not skill. Knowledge plus ten thousand times is skill.” ~Shinichi Suzuki I knew exactly what to say to my narcissistic mother. I just could never say it. For twenty years I studied every technique in the book. Gray rocking (becoming emotionally neutral and unreactive). Broken record (calmly repeating the same boundary). Don’t JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain)….
“A proper grown-up communicates clearly and assertively.” This is something I have heard many people say. By that definition, I wouldn’t have been classed as a proper grown-up for most of my life. There was a time when I couldn’t even ask someone for a glass of water. I know that might seem crazy to some people, and for…
