“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh Five years ago, my son missed a basketball tryout. We had been out of town, and by the time we got back, the rosters were already set. I made a few calls anyway, hoping someone might give a kid a late shot. One coach said…
“Being a people-pleaser may be more than a personality trait; it could be a response to serious trauma.” ~Alex Bachert Growing up in a home, school, and church that placed a lot of value on good behavior, self-discipline, and corporal punishment, I was a model child. There could have been an American Girl doll designed after me—the well-mannered church…
“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” ~Jim Rohn I used to think tiredness was a personality trait. I was the person who could work fourteen hours, sleep five, and do it again. I wore my exhaustion like armor. It proved I was serious. It proved I was dedicated. It proved I was worth…
“Anxiety isn’t you. It’s something moving through you. It can leave out of the same door it came in.” ~James Clear Years ago, I had a panic attack while driving across a bridge, and I thought I might die that day. Suddenly my heart started pounding. My breath became shallow and tight. My chest felt constricted, and a wave…
“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.” ~Søren Kierkegaard I didn’t lose her all at once. I lost myself first—slowly, quietly, in the way that only happens when someone you trust makes you doubt everything you think and feel. She was magnetic when I met her. Warm, intense, the kind of person who made…
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway My grandmother had just died. My sister and I had come from the room where her body still lay, and we were standing in the elevator in silence when the doors slid closed. My sister looked at me and said, “Now you’re the last…
“Ultra-independence is a coping mechanism we develop when we’ve learned it’s not safe to trust love or when we are terrified to lose ourselves in another. We aren’t meant to go it alone. We are wounded in relationship and we heal in relationship.” ~Rising Woman Do you feel like you have to do everything on your own? Is it…
“Surrender is not about giving up. It is about letting go of the illusion of control.” ~Judith Orloff Watching my mother lose her memory while I was losing mine felt like a cruel preview of my future—until I learned that stress, not genetics, was writing my story. It was 3:47 a.m.—again. I’d been awake since 2:13, and before that…
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown I used to call myself a “beetroot.” It was a label of defectiveness that my inner critic screamed at me every time I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. For years, I lived with erythrophobia,…
“The greatest gift you can give your children is your own healing.” ~Dr. Shefali Tsabary Am I doing too much or not enough? Am I screwing my child up? Am I being too hard on my child? Am I being too soft? Am I spending enough time with my child? Do I help too much? Should I help more? Is…
