“Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” ~Dr. Gabor Maté Most people think trauma comes from what frightened us. But not all trauma is rooted in fear. Some wounds come from betrayal—when something violates our sense of right and wrong, and we’re left to carry the…
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor Frankl For a long time, my first response to difficulty was a single, aching question: “Why me?” It surfaced whenever life took an unexpected turn—when plans collapsed, when effort didn’t materialize, when circumstances felt unfair and overwhelming. I believed that…
“Meditation is a way of being, not a technique.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn I didn’t think I was someone who “couldn’t meditate.” I had read the books. I understood the benefits. I knew, intellectually, that sitting with my breath was supposed to help me feel calmer, more present, more myself. And yet every time I tried, something inside me tightened. My…
“You can’t perform your way into being loved. You can only reveal yourself and trust that the right person will love what they find.” Finding the unmarked door, I stepped into a dimly lit room pulsing with that “Love Jones” energy. Neo-soul played low, red lighting cast shadows across faces, and the bass line vibrated through my chest. This…
I think it’s probably fair to say that most of us are feeling overwhelmed right now. We’re all dealing with a lot. Work stress. Family responsibilities. Relationship struggles. Health challenges. The pressure to keep going even when we’re absolutely exhausted. Lately my own life has been ridiculously full. Between running the site, homeschooling my older son, and navigating some…
“With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.” ~Kristin Neff For a long time, I carried a question with me that I rarely said out loud. It wasn’t dramatic. It didn’t sound cruel. It felt reasonable—even responsible. What’s wrong with me? The question surfaced whenever I felt stuck. When motivation disappeared….
“Ironically enough, when you make peace with the fact that the purpose of life is not happiness but rather experience and growth, happiness comes as a natural byproduct. When you are not seeking it as the objective, it will find its way to you.” ~Unknown I had ten days to pack up my life. I was moving from Toronto…
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha For most of my life, hoping for something better wasn’t a problem. It was my fuel. If everything had lined up the way I once imagined, it would have looked something like this: steady financial security, meaningful creative work recognized by the world,…
“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho I grew up as the first-born daughter—the responsible one, the helper, the one who didn’t want to cause trouble. I learned early how to be “good.” Good meant quiet. Good meant easy. Good meant not needing much. What I didn’t realize then was that…
“Sometimes people wound us because they’re wounded and tell us we’re broken because that’s how they feel, but we don’t have to believe them.” ~Lori Deschene Age and healing don’t make you invulnerable to moments that can bring you back to the kind of trauma you experienced as a child. It doesn’t mean that you’re broken, but that there…
