For most of my career, I trusted my ability to assess risk. I spent decades working in technology, much of it in information security and startups. Risk was not an abstract concept to me. It was my job to anticipate what could go wrong, question assumptions, identify vulnerabilities, and make decisions when the consequences mattered. And yet, at one…
“What stands in the way becomes the way.” ~Marcus Aurelius I’ve had two strokes, and after each, there were things I had to relearn. Walking wasn’t what it used to be. My balance became a problem. There are days when my head is foggy, and I have trouble concentrating. My body doesn’t always cooperate with what my mind wants…
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ~C.S. Lewis I’m not sure why some of us have a tougher journey than others, but I can say I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t loved a narcissist. Most days now are filled with love from…
“Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are.” ~Squire Bill Widener For years, I had a private deal with myself: I would really change when life became manageable. When work slowed down. When the family was okay. When I had more energy. When there was less stress. When I could finally focus. The problem was that…
“You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Unknown Tomorrow, a court will grant me a divorce after eleven years of marriage. I’ve spent the last several months rereading a decade of my own life like evidence in a case, trying to understand how I got here. What I found surprised me: not one…
“Detachment is not about refusing to feel or not caring or turning away from those you love. Detachment is profoundly honest, grounded firmly in the truth of what is.” ~Sharon Salzberg A few months ago, my father informed me that he’d been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Although he seemed optimistic about the treatment, I knew that hearing such news…
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers There is a part of me that really, really loves vitamins. Like…a lot. I have always been endlessly fascinated by health, which means I can spend a wildly unreasonable amount of time talking about inflammation, mitochondria, blood sugar, nervous systems,…
“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz I used to walk into a room and check everyone else’s emotional temperature before I noticed my own. A tightened jaw meant I should get quieter. A distracted answer meant I’d done something wrong. If my partner sighed while unloading the dishwasher, I’d go back…
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” ~Maya Angelou In June 2011, I got a Facebook friend request from a guy I vaguely knew from college. We’d never dated, never even been close, but I knew him by reputation. Charming. Vain. The kind of guy who always had someone. He’d just been hired to…
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” ~George Santayana I was gone about two hours. I’d gone to see my stepbrother, who lived nearby. My girlfriend didn’t want to come, so I told her to rest, and I’d be back soon. When I got back to my father’s property, where we lived in the camper we’d…
